Josh Highland’s Blog

so I havent updated my blog in over a month; several reasons.

1. no one reads this, so why bother updating
2. so much has been going on, so the number of updates would be insane
3. i havent had much "free" time to work on fun things like updating my blog

ok, so lets talk about this whirlwind that is known as my life for the last month.

Jan 22 - phoenix fest
xDEATHSTARx played phoenix fest, in phoenix AZ. We drove my dads truck. phoenix wasnt as far as tuscon, so that was good. We played second to headline, right under evergreeen terrace. It was a fun show. they covered op ivy, I was stoaked. We hung out with them afterwards. I was bummed that they wanted to go to a strip club and get drunk, all but josh, their guitar player. We stayed at jews house. Lizzy got us food.

Jan 28 - glasshouse show
We played glasshouse with bleeding through. My mom came for the first time to see us play. I was nice to have her there and finally understand what being in a band is kind of like. It was a fun show. To bad that its the last hardcore show that glasshouse will have. The sound on stage sucked ass. I guess the sound in the house was good, so thats not so bad.

The days leading up to the 19th are a blur.

Feb 19th - The wedding of Josh Highland and Amy Abernathy
On the wedding day, Keller and I drove down to newport so dylan could cut my hair. It was raining like mad. We saw 12 totaled cars on the way down there. Every few miles, cars were spun out, flipped over and just wrecked. Dylan did a rad job cutting my hair. We got to the chappel later that day and everything was good, until the sound guy couldnt be found. He showed up late, but i was to pre-occupied with everything else. The ceremony was amazing. Amy was beautiful. I wanted to cry when I saw her. I had to keep my eyes fixed on chad because I know I would lose it if I didnt. I actually dont remember much of the ceremony or reception. There was so much going on, so many people, so many things all going on at once. It was the best thing ever. I wish i could of spent an hour with every guest there. We left the reception and went to downtown disney and stayed at the california grand hotel. They had the room all decorated up for us with rose petals, and baloons. It was a nice touch to the finish of a very long day of celebration.

Feb 20/21 - The Mini Honeymoon
Despite the rain, Amy and I hung out at downtown disney and then south coast plaza, we spent most of the day shopping. Amy got a pair of seven jeans, I couldnt find any pants under $250 bucks that fit me well, and I wasnt about to pay that, so I didnt get anything. We are going to take a really nice trip in June. This was just a quick getaway.

Feb 23 morning - Dr. Church
At the Bleeding Through show, CJ from sinai beach told me I should go to see his sinus dr, dr church. So I had an Apt time with him. He stuck a camera down my throat, up my nose and in my ears. He saw some problems, gave me a bunch of meds, he might want to do some surgery, but we are going to try to some meds first. He also gave me this crazy sinus rinse that I have to use in the shower where i shoot medicated fluid up one nostral until it starts to come out my my other nostral, and mouth. It sounds gross, and it is, but it helps a bunch. Maybe this will help my singing voice.

Feb 23 afternoon - The car in the garage isnt mine
I come home to today at lunch. I live in a condo complex, and my garage faces another garage. The 80 something year old lady that has the garage across from mine forgot which one was the gas and which was the break when she was backing out of her garage. Her car slammed into my garage, taking out the door, and the wall between my neigbors and I.
In the process she severed a water main, and the whole complex had to be turned off, so im with out water for the next 24 hours until it can be fixed.
The best part is that when she took out one of the load bearing beams, and my roof which was wet and heavy, started to cave in on itself. One of the beams holding up my roof broke, so now my roof is leaning and about to fall in. A construction crew came by and put in some temp. supports, so it doesnt fall down all the way, until an insurence adjuster can look at it, and then someone can fix it. This sucks, I have the worst luck ever. Hooray to being a home owner, Boo for old ladies who shouldnt be allowed to drive anymore.

Feb 26 - Amys B-Day / Crowbar
It was Amy birthday, but she let me me go to a show anyways… It was crowbar! Freaking Crowbar!!! We had to drive all the way to the House of blues in hollywood. I drove with eric, natalee, and kevin. Some wild stuff happened in the car once we hit sunset strip, im not going to mention that stuff here, but it was amazing. It involved an old soda cup, piss, and traffic. Crowbar was amazing just watching them play, It was a sight to see. Im way stoaked to have seen them. Metal crowds suck ass.

March 5 - Goltry House Party
It was eric and joys birthday party. The plan was hatched at my wedding… a formal birthday party. Everyone in shirts and ties. Thats just what we did! 4 bands played. Aces metal band, Plague of Shoel, Plague: The Red Letters, xDEATHSTARx. It ruled because it was just our friends, and some random "hardcore" (notice the quotes, indicating how HARD they are) Kids. The randoms just stood on the side. They didnt REPRESENT their mosh crews haha. The show was really good. Afterwards one of the kids talked to me about his band. They have 4 singers also, he sumorized his band in this sentence… "xdeathstarx has influenced us alot, we have 4 singers also, people say we are trying to be like you guys, but i dont think so. We are way heavier then you, and not as old school sounding as you"…. 4 singer and youre not trying to be like us? xdeathstarx is old school hardcore? ha! Ok, so as the party wound down, They rootbeer kegs came out. I had made a rootbeer bong, and planned on using it till i puked. It took 10 rootbeer bongs to get me really puking, but once it happened it happened. I puked all over the place. It sucked ass. Im sure there is pictures floating around. Amy got upset at me, I got upset at myself for making myself look like an ass. It was cool all except for the puking, I shouldnt of done that.

Last weekend we had a show in Tucson Az. We borrowed Sinai Beaches van. I wish we would of had that thing going to hellfest and back! It has crazy room for each person, has a TV and a playstation. Talk about nice. Having those luxuries made the trip go by quick. The show was at scrappys. I really like that venue. When we got there, they had vegan chili mac for us. I have never had food go through me so fast! vegan chili mac… never again. We headlined, and I think we played well. I met a bunch of cool kids, Doozer, Sam, and some other people. We stayed at this kid Jordans house. He had cats so I had to sleep in the van, sitting up in my seat. That part was the low light of the trip. The highlight was vegan donuts! we bought about 20 dozen of them (20 x 12 = 240!). Tucson Tim met us at the bakery. The drive home was cool until we hit California, and the sky opened up and dumped ass loads of water on us. Driving was sketchy but we got home ok.

Jason and DBo have moved out. They found a really cool loft style apt on the 3rd floor of a house in Redlands. Its pretty nice. I�m happy that Jason has a space of his own now. He likes decorating and things like that. I�m going to try and name their apt. "Courage house", since they are both Courage Crew and the only courage crew guys in the IE.

Jason Keller left for PA on Thursday, Amy left for Bakersfield, D-Bo was back in town. I love hanging out with D-Bo. I love that Bleeding Through is doing so good, but I don�t like the fact that I only get to see Derek a few times a year.

Friday D-Bo and I went to glasshouse to flyer the Sinai beach Throwdown show. Sinai came out in x-mas gear. CJ was an elf, mike d was Santa, and everyone else was reindeer, and yes they threw out presents. During Throwdown there was a gnarly fight. 4-5 guys destroyed this kid. He was on the ground rolled up in a ball, and then someone grabbed a fire extinguisher and started to bash his face in with it. That kid was done. I felt bad for him. There were several fights during Throwdow, which bummed me out, but I love seeing Throwdown, so it kind of leveled everything out for me. I handed out an ass load of flyers, about 700 or so. I hope my wedding show goes well.

Friday I drove to Bakersfield and back. I had my war driving rig (net stumbler) in full effect for the drive there and back. I was surprised how many AP�s you can find just by driving on the freeway. Pasadena is a gold mine. The wedding was cool. I didn�t know anyone there, besides Amy, but she was in the wedding party, so I had to chill by myself all night. The drive home went fast though, and that�s a good thing. I ended up chilling out with Eric and D-Bo.

Yenny�s Christmas sweater party was awesome. Tons of people showed up at Yenny�s house. I would imagine it was close to 50 people or so. The night was mellow, hanging out with friends, telling stories, and eating tons of food all while wearing outrageous Christmas sweaters. Once the white elephant gift exchange started up, things started to get wild. Some of the best presents of the night included a broken TV, a trapper keeper, a box bullets, a penis shaped lufa, and a pair of old speedo's stuffed with hot dogs. There were close to 40 presents in all. It was a good time to be had by all. I love my friends.

So my kidneys weren’t shutting down, I think I just had crazy body aches from getting another cold. I swear, I’m the sickest person I know… and no I don’t mean sick as in "sick ink" or "sick dirt bike, bro!". I mean sick as in "I am never well". I really think I have "Josh Highlands disease". Once the first of the year comes around, I'm so going to the Dr.

I have taught notPopbot a few new tricks. She hasn’t been online to chat in the last few days, but she has been busy doing other things. Lets just say that she knows A LOT about lyrics these days. Speaking of which, the notpop lyrics database is doing really good. It's growing really fast.

Jason Keller is leaving on Thursday and wont be back until new years eve. I’m going to miss playing Unreal Tournament with him for the next few weeks. We havent got around to patching that hole in my ceiling yet either. I guess that will have to wait until the New Year.

Ryan Gregson fell off of his mtn. bike and shattered his wrist. He had to have surgery, and pins and plates placed in it. That means no guitar for a whole. That poses an interesting question? who will play guitar in xdeathstarx while he heals? We have a show the first week in jan in AZ. I’m guessing that Eric will drop off of vocals, and play guitar, and thommy will come back for one last show with us. I just did the paper work on it… this will be the 7th formation that xdeathstarx has played in, and there has been 13 different people that have been part of xdeathstarx at one point in time. I don’t think many bands have stats like that. maybe its not such a good thing.

Yennys is having a party on Sunday after church. That should be good. I have to go to a wedding in Bakersfield on the 18th for Amy best friend. I have only met her once. The wedding should be good, but I don’t look forward to driving to Bakersfield and back alone. I tend to fall asleep when i drive long distances by myself. Time will tell.

GRRRR…. PAIN!
I’m sitting here is pain, pain like I haven’t felt in a long time. I think i pulled a muscle on the right side of my back. It hurts deep inside, like I broke a rib…. But I haven’t gotten hit in the ribs in a long time. Im thinking that I pulled a muscle moshing on Saturday night for plague: The red letters at Koos, or my right kidney is shutting down. Either way it sucks. The show on Saturday was fun though. I like the new Koos.

On Friday I took off of work and went to see Dylan and get my hair cut. I love getting my hair cut at hawleywoods, even if it does mean a 2 hour drive one way in traffic…

The show at glasshouse was out of control! I was nervous about playing that big of a stage, but once i got out there, that all melted away. The stage was so big I didn’t have to worry about knocking into the other guys as we played. Kids seemed into it, which is a bonus. I ran the merch at the show. We sold everything that we brought with us, including our new hoodies that rockett had made for us earlier that night. It was possibly one of the best times I have had on stage. I got to meet a bunch of new people also. It was just a good night in general. I'm also glad that NIV is back in action.

Thursday we played a show at showcase. I love playing showcase. Nice stage, good sound, its home for us. Plague: The Red Letters played. I swear, every time I see them they just get better. I’m trying to figure out a way to snag their demo when they aren’t looking so I can make a copy of it. When I came home from the show, Amy had cleaned the house and baked me 2 pumpkin pies. She’s the best.

I spent all Friday night fixing Kevin’s mom’s computer. It was way beat up. I got it working though. Jason and JD went snowboarding and stayed the night at my house. My first official guests!

Saturday I passed on snowboarding to hang out with Amy and go to a pumpkin patch with her some of the boys and Maryn. I forgot how cool oak glen is. I think I’m going to take Amy back there pretty soon. Apples are in season. After that, Dylan’s new band, eaten alive had a show at lyrics in San Bernardino. I hate that club, but it was a good show anyways. I love seeing Dylan on stage.

Sunday, all hallows eve, Halloween if you will. I slept in for once it was good. I really need to get some blinds on my window though. I get cooked once the sun comes up and starts beating on me in bed. Everyone met up at Thommy’s, and to my surprise, d-bo showed up. It was so awesome to see him. He had one day off of tour and he decided to spend it with us. D-bo, Beejay and I took a trip to the Wal-Mart across the street from me to get Halloween gear. We showed up way early to the show. It was cool though because the church was having a carnival with free food, candy and stuff for the kids. A LOT of people showed up for the show. More then I expected. The first band dropped off the bill… sucks for them. Plague of shoel (Brandon’s other band) played. They were pretty good. Big Ryan’s vocals rule. Next was Death of The Saints, The Newest Redlands band featuring Thommy on vox, Daniel on drums (both ex-deathstar). I forgot who played guitars (I want to say it was Daniel elsinor, and Corey. I could be wrong though). I LOVED THEM. The place went nuts for them. The music was a but more obsecure then other Redlands bands, but it was excellent. Plague: The Red Letters were next. Steve-o wins the costume contest i believe, he was a Mexican gangster… like a vato. Naomi was a chola. They played really well. Kids murdered each other. I forgot how much fun it is to mosh around when everyone is in costumes.

Last up was xDEATHSTARx. We all wore black clothes, white face paint, black eyes and lips…. dead presidents style. people kept telling me that I looked like the joker, or old davey havok. I can live with that I guess. The stage was super tiny. I don’t know how we all fit, but we did it. It was an excellent time. Redlands needed a new venue. Im glad that we were able to be one if the first bands to play in it. I also love the fact that it is also my church. Going to shows at Oasis helped me to break down my misconceptions about Jesus, God and Christians in general. Hopefully this outreach can do the same for other kids out there.

After the show we all went to Eden’s house. I hung out with her stinky dog all night. I went home when I started to fall asleep while waiting for Thommy and Krissi to come back with food. I wonder who ate my burrito? I’m going to guess that Beejay did.

Halloween this year ruled.

This weekend, I officially moved to Redlands. Friday night, I borrowed my dad’s truck and moved my mattress, clothes, and snowboards to my new place. Keller helped me unload the truck and set stuff up. I love that guy.

I have owned the place for a month now, but I had to do a lot of work before I could move in. Mostly paint the walls, put in new flooring and get/assemble new furniture. Ikea is my home away from home. Saturday I went and got a bunch of stuff, but i need to return some of it tonight… wrong color wood.

Eric and I designed 2 new pieces of xDEATHSTARx merch, a new shirt and a zip-up hoodie. We should have those made in time for our show at showcase on Thursday.

On the subject of xDEATHSTARx, I have started to redesign our website. I have also re-started construction of the next version of notPop. Last night I spent some time and worked on the private messaging/notPop-mail feature that we will have. If you have any suggestion about what you would like to see in the new notPop, or xDEATHSTARx site, please let me know.

Today I am feeling a bit better. Last night I started to feel really bad. Kind of like a cold was coming on. I rocked the theraflu, and went to bed early (I don’t know if you call a mattress on the floor a bed, I couldn’t move my mattress to my new house yet because of the rain)

Today is October 21, 10.21 if you will. One of my favorite bands is SkyCameFalling. Their only full length is called "10.21", thus making this SkyCameFalling Day.

Released in 2000, on Ferret Records, 10.21 blends Hardcore aggression with the pain of Emo Music. I’m not talking about some crappy new hardcore band that wears girls clothes, has fashion hair, pink merch, and sings about how girls are evil. This album was possibly at the fore front of all that, but its watered down or cliche at all.

The music is heavy, but not brutal. There are not crucial breakdowns, sing alongs, two-steps or anything like that. Its just raw, maybe that’s why I’m so attracted to it.

I started to listen to this album early in 2001, but It didn’t really hook me until June 2001 or so. My grandpa was dying in the hospital, and I would watch him during the night. All I had to pass my time while he slept was my headphones, and my computer. I listened to this album several times a night it seemed like. The frustration in the lyrics and vocals, along with the heavy, but elegant at time music summed up my feelings completely.

The metaphors and similes used in the lyrics show thought and reflection, and give depth to the words I believe. Examples:

"When the sun never rises wherever you are, you begin to lose track of the stars"

"Someday we may rise up in the hearts of those we once loved as picture perfect memories"

"These sand-castles we so carefully built. The waves crash in. Washes them all back to sea, watch them crumble."

The cd also features 3 instrumental tracks. 1:21 seconds, 2:04 seconds, and 8:59 seconds. I believe that the instrumental tracks speak volumes about the bands. It offers almost a reflective time, and a break to let things sink it. It really adds to the over all balance of beauty of this album.

On September 8th 2001, I saw my grandfather buried. I left his funeral, still dress in a suit and drove to the showcase theatre in corona. SkyCameFalling was playing, Sante Sangre, Bleeding Through, and Atreyu for $8. I lost my mind at the show, loving all of the bands that played. I don’t even really remember seeing SkyCameFalling play, I didn’t stop moving and singing along. I was venting all the frustration of losing my grandfather to music that was equally as raw.

After the show, I got to talk to the singer of SkyCameFalling, I asked him what the numbers "10.21" meant. He told me that on October 21st he lost his Job, his Girlfriend and got kicked out of his house… the worst day of his life. All he had left was his band, and hardcore.

Some people say that bands like this don’t have a place in hardcore. This music and this band was something that I was able to connect to and something positive for me when I was hurting and feeling alone. Their music gave me a release to pinned up anger and frustration, and let me feel that I wasn’t the only one who was hurting out there.

SkyCameFalling broke up earlier this year, so I will never get the chance to see them again, I wont ever forget what it was like when I did see them, and I wont stop listening to 10.21

(Thats me with my hand in the air)

Friday was the ESRI block party, The close down New York street in Redlands and bring in a ton of carnival type things for little kids. They have free food, music, and other games and things. Its basically the ESRI company picnic. I invited Thom and Maryn to come with Amy and I. Watching Maryn play on the rides was the best. Nothing is as awesome as a little girls laughter.

I went to get my haircut from Dylan, he gave me a FLAT TOP. A legit flat top! I look like guile from street fighter. Its out of control. Amy hates it with a passion. I don’t like it a whole lot, but I think its funny to wear. Who else has a flat top, nobody! (maybe there is a reason to that…)

After my haircut, Keller and I went to town. We tore one of my bathrooms apart. We ripped out the sink and vanity, manage to knock a hole in the wall during the process, took up the tile floor. Basically its a room with a bathtub… which wont be in there for long, I am taking that out also!.

We were supposed to play a show on Slyvan Park but when we got there, there was a family reunion going on. They had matching shirts and everything. I didn’t want to be a dick, so I postponed the show. We didn’t start until after 6. There was still a ton of kids there. Oblige and Plague: The Red Letters got to play before the police showed up and shut the show down.

Sunday, Keller and I fixed the hole in my bathroom, and i painted the door jambs and baseboards of my master bedroom. Practice was good, we are using new PA speakers, and they rule compared to our last set. I skipped church and went to the glasshouse with Amy, Yenny, and Hardcore Steve. Scars of Tomorrow, Between the Buried and Me, Cave-in, Converge. Cave-In was the highlight for me. They are amazing. They played two of their heavy songs, Matt abd I killed people as soon as they started playing them. Jake from converge is creepy. His stage presence is just bizarre. One of his arms is always like rubber and he looks like a pissed off zombie. I think the set they played last night was better then the set at Hellfest. I ordered one of Jake Bannons paintings, "unloved", it was way expensive, but well worth it. Only 100 printed.